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Episode 132
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 133|Next Episode -->]] Length: 2:33:26 Hosts: Alex Matt Mitch Guests: Kevin Villecco Kori ---- Content Covered: * Matt's cat * Getting Swole Notable Facts: Guy Fieri gets equated to Maxi - B jr. Funny Stories and Quotes: Alex *The song sucks and the podcast sucks. *What music do you like to listen to? **Matt - Besides Sandstorm *Screaming to get the gum out of the beard. **Matt - Now that's metal. *Matt's not a giant hipster. He's a fuuuuuuuu. *Fuck you no one wins Bit Trip Runner. *(Guy Fieri) I ate a helicopter. inhaled a balloon. *I apologize for 129. *Mela called me Guy Fieri. She had no idea. *What did I fuck myself into? *He's been there **Matt - Did ya fuckin kill im? *Cosplay is cutthroat. *Eat your own shit? Kevin thanks for coming on. *Everything hurts and everything is pain. *TMNT cause 9/11 *Michael Bay is just a guy with long hair. No posters. No 9/11. *God help me if I get swole and look like an Ethopian with a B. *My girlfriend is such a whore when you slit her throat she bleeds white. *My girlfriend is such a cunt she gave birth to herself. **Matt - Please continue with 9/11 *I always wanted to tell Nathan Noles (Nolan North) *If you have a big hit like Gangnam Style and they want you to play New Years Eve say no. He played himself off. *Wanted to buy rights of Cotton Eye Joe for $1000. **Matt - We should do the opposite and play Happy Birthday and get sued every week. *I thought you were on the show but instead I'm talking about babies and tubes. *I saw Guardians of the Galaxy opening weekend with Mela's sister. **Matt - The hot one? **Alex - ughhhh.... **Matt - I don't want to be surrounded by fucking nerds. I don't have any friends **Alex - You are a nerd. **Matt - The crowd screams when SuperMurderer shows up like they all got fucked in the ass. **Matt - There's a difference between being a nerd and being **Alex - Japanese *I'm so happy when I'm wrong because I'm pessimistic as fuck. *You sat in silence and rolled your eyes cause you're a piece of shit. **Matt - I want to see it. **Alex - Fuck you, and see it. See how it works. I can't see the fucking movie because I'm dead. Let's move on, choke your beard. **Matt - That happens everyday. **Alex - Veins out your face. *I retarded myself to hatred. *It's cause you put your cat barb penis in your daughter when you said hello. Then you had to do it outside the windows. *You lose all your brain cells by screaming in your ear. *Rules of being a gentlemen #1 open door for a lady #2 open bag for a lady. #3 shave balls. Well if someone down there and doing a good job the last thing you want is a hair going between the teeth. It kills the mood if someone is going down on you and hear pfff puh that is a thing you do not want to hear. When a girl goes down on your balls it's like a giraffe. *Blow it like a giraffe baby. *Have you seen the world championship arm wrestler? **Kori - The mutant? **Alex - His fingers and genitals are huge! **Alex - Oh my god, he's Croatian and he kills cats. **Kori - I said in general. Matt *No matter how many hours you put in the show still sucks. *(mitch) You're jealous. My beard is phenomenal. *I made a video of Chris Antista of how he died. *Nobody likes us. *(Irish Trap Door) That sounds like a sexual move. *Does that mean we have 2 people on the show that like Mitch? **Kevin - I guess so. *He has a song Waifu Dreams so I'm following him. *What is trap? Not the same as a boy that looks like a girl. Not interested. **Mitch - Twerk music *Now I'm interested. *Yeah I'm buying that for myself. You can go fuck yourself. *Her fucking tits fell off. **Alex - Speaking of tits, Jessica Nigri. **Matt - Oh. **Alex - The last one is Invisible Women and its just boobs. **Alex - If show cosplayed as her own ass. 1 year she's chainsawing my penis and next (actually 2) here is a line. **Matt - She's doing Sonichu. **Alex - Ughhhh *Sexy Layton. I want to lick him. *She's going out with me in my head. *I look like Fat Mack! *If you like tits you're a terrible person. If you don't like tits, you're a terrible person. *Why 50 babies in one tube? **Alex - Some say art. Some say mishap. *My dad tried to fuck me in the head. *Matt wrong about Gangnam Style (released in 2012 not 2013) 1/2 correct about the meaning of Gangnam Style *I have shit to do Alex. **Alex - No you don't. *Hurts when you take a bite out of your own beard. *(Passout game) You know how I feel? **Alex - You want every child dead. *I hope more kids do it and they die. *Deep in the heart of hearts I'm a meathead. I want arms like the guy in JoJo that drives his car through a stand. **Mitch - I want to do JoJo poses. **Matt - That too **Mitch - Naked **Matt - That too Do it in a darkroom so I can lift you up off the sink and fuck you. *The only thing I do is masturbate and drink protein shakes. *I masturbate in the protein shakes. It's how I get my protein. *Douche at the workplace is talking about running. **Alex -Running is healthier than masturbating and protein shakes **Matt - I beg to differ **Alex - You always beg to differ. Dr. This medicine will save your life. I beg to differ now please fuck right off through this door. **Matt - Fuck right off through the door, don't fuck yourself on the way out. **Matt - Don't fuck yourself with the door on the way out *Thanks for coming Kori. **Kori - Thank you asshole. Mitch *Beardpop. *Guy Fieri shaped dildos *Jenkem. My handle is the Jenkem Food King. *Just like my dick. **Matt - I like it. The noise of sound that gets transcribed to an image of a dick. *My dick looks like a cat penis. I don't know **Matt - I'm asking you. **Mitch - I'm asking my girlfriend **Kori - God no. **Alex - Speaking of hooks let's bring it back to music. *Be careful my girlfriend might be 12% Irish. *Finger 1 cat sized Matt? **Matt - Fuck you I have a real question. *Not a fan of going to karoke with people and they pick Gangnam Style all the time. *Going through 1/4 of a life crisis and knowing your body is slowly decaying and knowing you will die. *Matt got a cat and it taught him how to love. **Matt - Barely. **Alex - Cat learned you to Nintendo? **Matt - Coincidence. *Do snakes have dicks? **Kori - Yes they do. *A fish is like the top 1/2 part of a giraffe. **Kori - No. *I can only grow a beard on my pee hole.... dick. **Matt - I'm trimmed I don't do a full shave. **Kori - Shaven balls is unattractive. I'm sorry. **Matt - You don't have to be sorry. **Mitch - In the sense of my dick, I'll stand up for you. *You look like a troll doll. *I'm using 5lb weights. *I was playing Professor Layton and Kori said I was fucking day. Kevin *I'm half German. **Matt - Which half? **Kevin - Mom **Alex - You were supposed to say bottom half. Kori *My huge German dad goes to Croatia. He killed a kitten going downstairs. He cried. You think Germans don't have feelings. *Croatia looks like Call of Duty. **Alex - Not helping. *Croatia doesn't have any money for rebuilding **Alex - Especially when it's invaded by cats. *My brother shared this story during Thanksgiving. *You don't need to clean a cat's butthole, they do it themselves. **Alex - You see Matt really loves his cat. **Matt - First of all I didn't wrap it around my pinky. I wrapped it around my tongue. Welcome to the show. **Alex - Are you familiar with an ass tulip? **Matt - No **Kori - That's disgusting and messy. **Matt - That's what the wipes are for. It's for my beard with all those cat juices. **Alex - You should be ashamed of himself. **Kori - Are you reading cat emotes? **Matt - I cean it twice a day. **Kori - That's excessive **Mitch - Matt loves his cat. **Kori - That cat's asshole was disgusting. **Matt - That's because you didn't wipe it **Kori - Mrs. Mitch is a nice lady **Alex (MrsMitch) - She killed a cat **Kori - What? **Alex - She stepped on one in Croatia. **Mitch - This show is callbacks. *Kori heard 1/2 of episodes to this point of Random Assault *Bullshit you can't delete me. <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 133|Next Episode -->]]Category:EpisodeCategory:AlexCategory:MattCategory:MitchCategory:Guest Category:Kori